the beauty of a desert playground, a giant sandpit for grown-ups.
the freedom to run down steep slopes, explore, climb, and stand in awe.
the richness of colours changing with the sun - bright blue sky and glittering deep orange sand.
the soft yet strong wind billowing around me, making sand dance in circles.
the pretty yellow flowers growing despite such heat.
the burning in my lungs as i struggle to climb up and up to gaze out at never-ending beauty.
the smooth curves and sharp ridges of gentle dunes.
the contrasting shadows highlighting such beautiful shapes.
the flow of soft warm sand between my toes and over my feet as i wander.
the evidence of my explorations disappearing as my footprints are covered by shifting sands.
the bubbling of joy in me as i cannot believe i am in such an amazing place.
the tracks of ostrich, oryx, geckos and beetles making patterns in the sand.
the lone trees against an orange backdrop.
the endless space containing so much.
and it all extends for miles and miles.
for a few pictures go to www.flickr.com/photos/journeybywaters or use link at side menu (aren't i clever?!)
i will keep trying to add more. throat is loads better thanks
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
animal spotting
well i'm just back from a 3 day trip to etosha national park where i had the privilege of enjoying some camping for a couple of nights (i'd forgotten how much i love camping) and also of seeing 6 giraffes, 11 lions, hundreds of zebra and thousands of springbok/impala/oryx.. sadly zero elephants - is this really africa?! no it was lovely, beautiful drives at sunrise and sunset, just miles and miles of landscape that i love. there were only 7 of us on the tour which was nice, easy to get to know some very different people from places i'd never even heard of. photos may follow soon but you'll be lucky if you can see much in them, its pretty funny taking photo after photo and only being able to see a spot in the distance!
so i'm back in windhoek for one night to refresh myself before heading off to the desert tomorrow!! red sand dunes here we come! i am very excited and will tell all on my return.
theres just one thing holding me back a little and that overshadowed my etosha trip a little which is my disgusting mouth infection. sorry to bring it up again but i am a little concerned as this foreign body keeps growing at the back of my mouth, now covering half of my throat opening making it painful to swallow and generally uncomfortable and a bit worrying. i do tend to be a hypochondriac with unfamiliar things so its probably fine, but i could really do with it clearing up extra quickly so as not to ruin the desert for me. i'm on a few different drugs to stop the fungus growing (clearly not working) to ease the soreness (does help a little) and to add good bacteria back into my system. ok so please if you pray add me to the list!
thanks so much, love to you all
so i'm back in windhoek for one night to refresh myself before heading off to the desert tomorrow!! red sand dunes here we come! i am very excited and will tell all on my return.
theres just one thing holding me back a little and that overshadowed my etosha trip a little which is my disgusting mouth infection. sorry to bring it up again but i am a little concerned as this foreign body keeps growing at the back of my mouth, now covering half of my throat opening making it painful to swallow and generally uncomfortable and a bit worrying. i do tend to be a hypochondriac with unfamiliar things so its probably fine, but i could really do with it clearing up extra quickly so as not to ruin the desert for me. i'm on a few different drugs to stop the fungus growing (clearly not working) to ease the soreness (does help a little) and to add good bacteria back into my system. ok so please if you pray add me to the list!
thanks so much, love to you all
Saturday, April 22, 2006
todays miracle
so i am safely installed in a hostel in windhoek. very strange to have left all my stuff (minus some valuables in a locker) in the hands of strangers but there we are.. but i jump ahead of myself. let me tell you about my day. well i woke up with the same sore throat i've had for a few days but this time thought i would investigate in the mirror as to whats happening and discovered a hideous infected lump of something nasty at the back of my mouth. so being the sensible girl i am i gave it a good prod, made it bleed and then spend the next while swallowing blood and other grimness. so consequently i threw up this morning. i mean i really don't like being sick, this was not a good start to my day of travel.
so stopped at a pharmacy on the way to the airport and it would seem that there is more reason for hating my malaria medication dioxycycline. apart from adding to my sunburn it also is an antibiotic which may sound like a good thing but if you take an antibiotic for long enough you kill off the good bacteria as well as the bad bacteria. so they reckon i have a fungal infection in my mouth and have prescribed a throat spray and some intestinal bacteria that come in a pill so i can start re-stocking my supply of bacteria thats been killed off! how funny is that. so i guess at least i know i will be ok but it meant i spent the flight trying not to be sick and was generally less than happy.
well then at windhoek airport i was asking about buses at the information desk and some nice guy comes up to offer me a lift. he seemed nice enough so i thought it sounded. well we're waiting for the guy he has come to pick up and chatting and it turns out i've heard all about him as he works for OM the same organisation that thelma works for who i've just been staying with?! i could not believe it. how ridiculously good is my life?! so i got a lift into town, got a lift to the other woman he works with who has taken in a bag of spare stuff i don't need that i can collect on my way out, then taken to my hostel. i have phone nos galore and the offer of a place to stay a bit north of town if i fancy it... its just too much, this is too easy! i am chuffed to bits, its been a fantastic finish to what had seemed like a bad day.
so i'm in windhoek for at least a couple of days until i can organise myself some tours when the office opens monday. a guy just arrived into my dorm 5 minutes after me fresh from the desert dunes.. i am pretty excited!!
so stopped at a pharmacy on the way to the airport and it would seem that there is more reason for hating my malaria medication dioxycycline. apart from adding to my sunburn it also is an antibiotic which may sound like a good thing but if you take an antibiotic for long enough you kill off the good bacteria as well as the bad bacteria. so they reckon i have a fungal infection in my mouth and have prescribed a throat spray and some intestinal bacteria that come in a pill so i can start re-stocking my supply of bacteria thats been killed off! how funny is that. so i guess at least i know i will be ok but it meant i spent the flight trying not to be sick and was generally less than happy.
well then at windhoek airport i was asking about buses at the information desk and some nice guy comes up to offer me a lift. he seemed nice enough so i thought it sounded. well we're waiting for the guy he has come to pick up and chatting and it turns out i've heard all about him as he works for OM the same organisation that thelma works for who i've just been staying with?! i could not believe it. how ridiculously good is my life?! so i got a lift into town, got a lift to the other woman he works with who has taken in a bag of spare stuff i don't need that i can collect on my way out, then taken to my hostel. i have phone nos galore and the offer of a place to stay a bit north of town if i fancy it... its just too much, this is too easy! i am chuffed to bits, its been a fantastic finish to what had seemed like a bad day.
so i'm in windhoek for at least a couple of days until i can organise myself some tours when the office opens monday. a guy just arrived into my dorm 5 minutes after me fresh from the desert dunes.. i am pretty excited!!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Thursday, April 20, 2006
travels in africa
so i'm happily back in the land of broadband staying with thelma in pretoria. very sorry as despite the broadband i still can't get you more pictures?! in two days i head off again on my own into the beautiful land of namibia, but for now i will just tell you about my time since mozambique.
blantyre was so lovely. definitely a lot of reverse culture-shock getting used to the waste of water with every flush of the loo and not believing the difference in worlds considering we were only half a days journey away from something so different. i'm sad to say the shock is quickly wearing off and the strength of my memories is gently fading but the strength of my determination to return to mozambique when i can is not.
highlight of blantyre was palm sunday. we went to a disappointing service in the morning - too many expats for me and the sermon was about pentecost (?!) not palm sunday at all so i was not happy. then walking home in the afternoon we heard some amazing singing coming from a church so went in and enjoyed over an hour of choir after choir singing amazingly. it was heaven to me. i mean seriously i am sure that will be how praises in heaven sound to me. i was in need of some refreshing that day and i definitely got it - the voices were pure, rich, beautiful and so joyful. it was true worship as if they just couldn't resist.
other than that it was just a time for enjoying the company of bernadette and her lovely friends arrived from holland, and allowing my mind and heart to settle down. pretty much all they heard out of me the first couple of days was innocence this, alexandra that.. but by the end of think i had talked about other things!
then they went back to mocuba one day before i left for pretoria, so i had very little time on my own but as with travelling to mozambique i did feel a bit unsettled and anxious. i guess every time i move on is a bit difficult as i leave what i know and love and step out into the unknown alone. but the journey was fine really, i mean probably the most uncomfortable journey i've ever had but i arrived safely even if it was 5 hours late, meaning a total 29 hour journey. it was a coach that seemed fine from the outside but it had 5 seats in each row instead of 4 which meant there wasn't enough room to sit back if your neighbour was also sitting back. my neighbour was a nice man called john but he wasn't small and in future i will remember to choose my seat according to my neighbour's size! our stop in harare was a mad moment as i got out to eat my sandwiches thinking i'd avoid making a mess inside and a group of kids just immediately gathered round me assuming i was giving them the food. i chatted with them for a few minutes trying to work out what was going on as it was a shock to me and in the end gave them my food as they seemed to really need it. i had got used to people asking for money but seeing people that desperate just for food was pretty haunting. zimbabwe is clearly in a bad way.
then pretoria has been lovely. you'll know i've felt very at home when you hear we rented 7 videos on my first day - result! its just been a lovely time for resting and catching up with friends. highlight was easter sunday. again i wasn't impressed with the sermon as it was on the transfiguration (i mean whats wrong with sticking with the season?!) so i read my bible instead of listening and rediscovered the joy of the story in john when mary meets jesus outside the tomb. it was a realisation that this journey and my life are taking me nearer and nearer to that place where i might be a bit lost and confused but then i hear my name called "Hannah" and i recognise my Lord.
blantyre was so lovely. definitely a lot of reverse culture-shock getting used to the waste of water with every flush of the loo and not believing the difference in worlds considering we were only half a days journey away from something so different. i'm sad to say the shock is quickly wearing off and the strength of my memories is gently fading but the strength of my determination to return to mozambique when i can is not.
highlight of blantyre was palm sunday. we went to a disappointing service in the morning - too many expats for me and the sermon was about pentecost (?!) not palm sunday at all so i was not happy. then walking home in the afternoon we heard some amazing singing coming from a church so went in and enjoyed over an hour of choir after choir singing amazingly. it was heaven to me. i mean seriously i am sure that will be how praises in heaven sound to me. i was in need of some refreshing that day and i definitely got it - the voices were pure, rich, beautiful and so joyful. it was true worship as if they just couldn't resist.
other than that it was just a time for enjoying the company of bernadette and her lovely friends arrived from holland, and allowing my mind and heart to settle down. pretty much all they heard out of me the first couple of days was innocence this, alexandra that.. but by the end of think i had talked about other things!
then they went back to mocuba one day before i left for pretoria, so i had very little time on my own but as with travelling to mozambique i did feel a bit unsettled and anxious. i guess every time i move on is a bit difficult as i leave what i know and love and step out into the unknown alone. but the journey was fine really, i mean probably the most uncomfortable journey i've ever had but i arrived safely even if it was 5 hours late, meaning a total 29 hour journey. it was a coach that seemed fine from the outside but it had 5 seats in each row instead of 4 which meant there wasn't enough room to sit back if your neighbour was also sitting back. my neighbour was a nice man called john but he wasn't small and in future i will remember to choose my seat according to my neighbour's size! our stop in harare was a mad moment as i got out to eat my sandwiches thinking i'd avoid making a mess inside and a group of kids just immediately gathered round me assuming i was giving them the food. i chatted with them for a few minutes trying to work out what was going on as it was a shock to me and in the end gave them my food as they seemed to really need it. i had got used to people asking for money but seeing people that desperate just for food was pretty haunting. zimbabwe is clearly in a bad way.
then pretoria has been lovely. you'll know i've felt very at home when you hear we rented 7 videos on my first day - result! its just been a lovely time for resting and catching up with friends. highlight was easter sunday. again i wasn't impressed with the sermon as it was on the transfiguration (i mean whats wrong with sticking with the season?!) so i read my bible instead of listening and rediscovered the joy of the story in john when mary meets jesus outside the tomb. it was a realisation that this journey and my life are taking me nearer and nearer to that place where i might be a bit lost and confused but then i hear my name called "Hannah" and i recognise my Lord.
Monday, April 10, 2006
memories of mocuba
ok well this is a self-indulgent opportunity to write down my memories from mozambique... bear with me!
i loved
walking everywhere, colourful geckos scampering across walls, beautiful harmonies sung with such joy, the beating rhythm as women crush maize, coconut palms against blue sky, lightning flashing like i'd never seen before, the reply of 'Gracas a Deus' - 'by the grace of God' if asked how they are as health is not taken for granted, being in the congregation not a white preacher at the front, always meeting a friend when in town despite only having about 10 friends, deafening rain on corrugated roof, running on the beach, raosted peanuts in sugar, pumpkin leaves, hearing mozambiquan laughter, walking with Hannah on my back - especially when people thought she was my child?!
i didn't love
awkward conversations about money, not understanding portuguese, constant attempts to rip me off, visiting sick people closer to death than i had seen before, horrific statistics about AIDS, ants in condensed milk, mosquitos, white bread, itching, lack of vegetables, sore inner thighs from sweaty skin rubbing together as i walked, the lack of good jobs for such talented people, ill-treated dogs with bones showing and ticks everywhere, long sermons i didn't understand whilst sitting in a very small very hot very unconfortable church, leaving.
becky very kindly sent me off with a card with some of psalm 121 written on it. one line says 'the sun will not harm you by day' and i had to laugh as sadly my skin has suffered a bit under the sun. but another line says ' the Lord will watch over your life' and i am so grateful that i have felt so safe and looked after. the best example of this is my first and my last night, both times just after the sun had set so it had just got dark. both times walking on my own not sure where i was going, in fact on my last night definitely lost. both times being met in the middle of nowhere by a friend who shouldn't even have really been in the same place at that time. both times just knowing such relief and amazement and gratitude that i had been found.
mozambique has definitely brought out the best in me, i have seen a new side to me - a woman of gentleness, joy, compassion and love. i hope this side of me remains out in the open for a very long time.
i loved
walking everywhere, colourful geckos scampering across walls, beautiful harmonies sung with such joy, the beating rhythm as women crush maize, coconut palms against blue sky, lightning flashing like i'd never seen before, the reply of 'Gracas a Deus' - 'by the grace of God' if asked how they are as health is not taken for granted, being in the congregation not a white preacher at the front, always meeting a friend when in town despite only having about 10 friends, deafening rain on corrugated roof, running on the beach, raosted peanuts in sugar, pumpkin leaves, hearing mozambiquan laughter, walking with Hannah on my back - especially when people thought she was my child?!
i didn't love
awkward conversations about money, not understanding portuguese, constant attempts to rip me off, visiting sick people closer to death than i had seen before, horrific statistics about AIDS, ants in condensed milk, mosquitos, white bread, itching, lack of vegetables, sore inner thighs from sweaty skin rubbing together as i walked, the lack of good jobs for such talented people, ill-treated dogs with bones showing and ticks everywhere, long sermons i didn't understand whilst sitting in a very small very hot very unconfortable church, leaving.
becky very kindly sent me off with a card with some of psalm 121 written on it. one line says 'the sun will not harm you by day' and i had to laugh as sadly my skin has suffered a bit under the sun. but another line says ' the Lord will watch over your life' and i am so grateful that i have felt so safe and looked after. the best example of this is my first and my last night, both times just after the sun had set so it had just got dark. both times walking on my own not sure where i was going, in fact on my last night definitely lost. both times being met in the middle of nowhere by a friend who shouldn't even have really been in the same place at that time. both times just knowing such relief and amazement and gratitude that i had been found.
mozambique has definitely brought out the best in me, i have seen a new side to me - a woman of gentleness, joy, compassion and love. i hope this side of me remains out in the open for a very long time.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
sorrow and joy
well at last you can see my smiling face and the beautiful hannah. we are just a couple of metres outside innocence and alexandra's house about to walk off for an afternoon together. i have been in an internet cafe for over 2 hours trying to work out how to get more pictures to you but sorry i give up. i think the connection is just too slow for uploading pictures - i will try again in south africa.
i am now happily settled in a beautiful guesthouse in blantyre, where i will spend up to a week taking time to mull over my memories and thoughts of mozambique, and enjoying the sights and sounds of another african country. i have travelled here with bernadette who will leave a bit before me, but it is so lovely to have this extra time with her. she really does a fantastic work in mocuba with a pre-school for 75 children aged 3-6 years, mostly orphans. see her website for more info http://www.wijnands-bcs.nl/africa/engels/bernadette-engels.htm
i have received an e-mail from innocence since leaving letting me know that his nephew also died later the same day as his sister's funeral. i never met the child, but he had been in hospital for at least a couple of weeks and he had been getting worse and worse instead of better. i don't know what he died of but when a large town only has one doctor and the nurses require extra payment in order to do their job properly, what can you expect.
so i am still so full of sadness for innocence and his family, and already trying to figure out how i can get back to mozambique sooner than the 6 year gap it had been before this visit.
just so you know - my mosquito bites are not bothering me so much now, i am tired but fine about that, i am not so hot in malawi and very thankful for that, i feel so healthy it is lovely, brown and a bit slimmer. my nose is suffering though, peeling everyday from sunburn despite using suncream. i still dream about people from home - early this morning i woke from a particularly stressful dream about my old job at citygate.. jan was ill, kirsty was too busy.. it was funny to wake up and realise my brain is still processing things from home even here. but i find it so much easier to remember home now and just enjoy thinking of so many lovely people, taking the time to pray for lots of you and enjoying the knowledge of your love and care even from a distance. thank you so much for the many comments here and e-mails, i can't reply to enough of them but i am reading them all and it is so lovely to hear news and know i am not forgotten. despite the sadness i am still very happy - its funny but i think it is possible to know joy and sorrow at the same time, that is my experience today.
i am now happily settled in a beautiful guesthouse in blantyre, where i will spend up to a week taking time to mull over my memories and thoughts of mozambique, and enjoying the sights and sounds of another african country. i have travelled here with bernadette who will leave a bit before me, but it is so lovely to have this extra time with her. she really does a fantastic work in mocuba with a pre-school for 75 children aged 3-6 years, mostly orphans. see her website for more info http://www.wijnands-bcs.nl/africa/engels/bernadette-engels.htm
i have received an e-mail from innocence since leaving letting me know that his nephew also died later the same day as his sister's funeral. i never met the child, but he had been in hospital for at least a couple of weeks and he had been getting worse and worse instead of better. i don't know what he died of but when a large town only has one doctor and the nurses require extra payment in order to do their job properly, what can you expect.
so i am still so full of sadness for innocence and his family, and already trying to figure out how i can get back to mozambique sooner than the 6 year gap it had been before this visit.
just so you know - my mosquito bites are not bothering me so much now, i am tired but fine about that, i am not so hot in malawi and very thankful for that, i feel so healthy it is lovely, brown and a bit slimmer. my nose is suffering though, peeling everyday from sunburn despite using suncream. i still dream about people from home - early this morning i woke from a particularly stressful dream about my old job at citygate.. jan was ill, kirsty was too busy.. it was funny to wake up and realise my brain is still processing things from home even here. but i find it so much easier to remember home now and just enjoy thinking of so many lovely people, taking the time to pray for lots of you and enjoying the knowledge of your love and care even from a distance. thank you so much for the many comments here and e-mails, i can't reply to enough of them but i am reading them all and it is so lovely to hear news and know i am not forgotten. despite the sadness i am still very happy - its funny but i think it is possible to know joy and sorrow at the same time, that is my experience today.
Thursday, April 06, 2006
such a sad day
i am so sorry to say that today i attended my first mozambiquan funeral. virginia, innocence's sister, died early yesterday morning from aids. innocence lived with her from the age of 15 until he got married, so she was his closest sibling, and it has been so sad to stand with him in his grief. i have never seen so many people at a funeral, everyone walks along the street following a truck or two carrying the coffin. i was coping ok until i saw two brothers who i have come to love dearly over this past month, bury their sister. i cannot imagine the pain for my family if my brothers are young enough to be the strong men putting my coffin into the ground.
so it has been a mad end to my time here, i've just tried to be helpful and supportive but i am sure this is not the best time to have a visitor from england around. it did mean i got to spend a whole last day with hannah yesterday as i took her off for the morning and the afternoon to keep us out of the way whilst everything was organised. she is a complete treasure, the sadness i now feel at leaving is huge. so not only do i join with the grief of the family but i have also spent the time saying my goodbyes as i leave in less than 2 hours for malawi. the pain i feel at leaving is great, but at least this time, unlike my previous visits, i feel so much more sure i will be coming back one day for another visit. it is a place that i love too much not to return, and i now feel i belong to a family here - auntie hannah or 'tia' as hannah calls me (portuguese for auntie).
i will write again when things look brighter. sorry for no photos yet as promised, it has just been too hectic but they do now exist on cd so i will post them here soon. if you pray please pray for innocence and his family in their sorrow and please pray that my heart mends quickly from the sorrow at leaving!
so it has been a mad end to my time here, i've just tried to be helpful and supportive but i am sure this is not the best time to have a visitor from england around. it did mean i got to spend a whole last day with hannah yesterday as i took her off for the morning and the afternoon to keep us out of the way whilst everything was organised. she is a complete treasure, the sadness i now feel at leaving is huge. so not only do i join with the grief of the family but i have also spent the time saying my goodbyes as i leave in less than 2 hours for malawi. the pain i feel at leaving is great, but at least this time, unlike my previous visits, i feel so much more sure i will be coming back one day for another visit. it is a place that i love too much not to return, and i now feel i belong to a family here - auntie hannah or 'tia' as hannah calls me (portuguese for auntie).
i will write again when things look brighter. sorry for no photos yet as promised, it has just been too hectic but they do now exist on cd so i will post them here soon. if you pray please pray for innocence and his family in their sorrow and please pray that my heart mends quickly from the sorrow at leaving!
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