i don't normally know the temperature but the radio told us it was 34 degrees yesterday. well today is a lot hotter. it would be fair to say i am a bit hot, tired and irritable at times. just going to take the chance for a quick moan here! every night i wake up scratching mosquito bites, often then awake with the itching for some time.. bearing in mind that i am a bit short on sleep anyway going to bed around 9.30/10 and getting up anytime from 5, more likely around 6. those of you who know me with know i am not the best without my beauty sleep! but tea tree oil does help a lot (thanks mandi) and i think i'll start taking antihistamines today.. so maybe things will get better. i just have trouble expecting a good day when i wake up early after a bad night already sweating!
the heat also makes it difficult to exercise, which is normally a vital part of my life. i did manage a days cycle ride one day but just got ridiculously sunburnt, pretty dehydrated, probably suffered from heat exhaustion for the next day and also managed to entertain a crowd watching me take a break at the side of a dirt road. i probably won't repeat it. second attempt was an early morning run setting off before 6, but sadly thats not early enough here as everyone is already out on the roads ready to laugh at a stupid white woman wearing shorts! may try that again but i may have to resign myself to the heat and realise you just don't do cardiovascular activity in this sort of climate.
ok well thats the moan over. other than that i am still loving it. theres no doubt i will be sorry to leave, probably in just over a week. plan is still to travel through malawi (not swaziland as first planned) but costs are rising as i realise i have to get another mozambiquan visa to do that, plus a visa for zimbabwe, plus the bus ticket.. still, a holiday in blantyre for a few days can't be bad.
for a quiet life its surprising how busy i suddenly feel now i have to fit all i want to into 7 days. theres a lot of innocence's family still to visit, a pastor to visit at his home, decision about which (if any) church to preach at on sunday! and some clothes to get made out some beautiful fabric innocence bought me... and as many joyful moments with little Hannah to fit in as possible. I am really going to miss her (did i say that already?!)
it continues to shock me how difficult life is for people here. i continue to struggle with what to do with my money, who to help when everyone is so needy. i learn something everyday about the people and the place, and still love both so much, but there are some details i find hard to get used to. i am eating fish, as that is the cheapest form of protein so eaten a lot, but i think i'm going to struggle with the lunch of squid that i'm going back to shortly! i've got used to the early starts but receiving visitors, especially a local pastor, at 6.30am seems a bit much! i love the time for people and constant visiting of family and friends, but the lack of solitude or ability to rest at home uninterrupted would probably get to me in the longer term.
well thats a lot for one day, so goodbye for now. next entry may well be the last from this amazing country - watch this space for some photos, i've found a place that can put them onto a cd!!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
my journey now and always
the way i am walking
is the way of refreshing calm, constant wonder and much joy
its the way of ongoing thankfulness at the love shown to me and the love known by me
its the way of receiving so much, so many gifts, such generosity and care
its the way of giving - of sharing my life and who i am and what i have
its the way of light that shines on all, even the hidden places
its the way of new and precious delights
as i stumble along this way, sometimes hesitating
i am drawn on by the certain hope of something amazing ahead of which i have already glimpsed the first rays
i choose to put my feet forward along this way of love only because of the great love already shown to me that tenderly leads me on
i long to discover God's secret which I know to be within this world
so I go on in the hope of discovery
this is a way walked in quietness and solitude listening to the voice of love
realising more and more that i understand less and less
longing to know the truth that has not yet been made fully true
i am often lonely yet i am never alone
this way i choose is the way of life
there is always water to quench my thirst
as i walk i am revived and restored to my depths
a lot is asked of me on this way yet i receive so much more
on this journey i discover i am beautiful and it is a beauty to be shared
(inspired by and some phrases quoted from "Show me the Way" Lenten readings by Henri Nouwen)
is the way of refreshing calm, constant wonder and much joy
its the way of ongoing thankfulness at the love shown to me and the love known by me
its the way of receiving so much, so many gifts, such generosity and care
its the way of giving - of sharing my life and who i am and what i have
its the way of light that shines on all, even the hidden places
its the way of new and precious delights
as i stumble along this way, sometimes hesitating
i am drawn on by the certain hope of something amazing ahead of which i have already glimpsed the first rays
i choose to put my feet forward along this way of love only because of the great love already shown to me that tenderly leads me on
i long to discover God's secret which I know to be within this world
so I go on in the hope of discovery
this is a way walked in quietness and solitude listening to the voice of love
realising more and more that i understand less and less
longing to know the truth that has not yet been made fully true
i am often lonely yet i am never alone
this way i choose is the way of life
there is always water to quench my thirst
as i walk i am revived and restored to my depths
a lot is asked of me on this way yet i receive so much more
on this journey i discover i am beautiful and it is a beauty to be shared
(inspired by and some phrases quoted from "Show me the Way" Lenten readings by Henri Nouwen)
Saturday, March 18, 2006
happy Hannah
my mozambiquan visit continues to be a delight. so much so that i'm not going to leave on monday as thought possible at one stage, it looks like i'll be leaving on the 4/5 april when the lovely bernadette can accompany me to blantyre in malawi where we can stay and have a nice break for a few days and then she can see me safely onto a bus from blantyre to pretoria through zimbabwe. so i get another couple of weeks here at least!
the pace of life here suits me fine, i'm really not doing all that much day to day just sleeping, cooking, eating, shopping, visiting, playing with Hannah, chatting with Alexandra, bit of reading.. the visiting is often funny. yesterday in particular i went to visit a pastor i know well and then another friend, both of them don't speak english and i barely speak any portuguese so it was a day of communicating with a dictionary and gestures! i guess it was also a day of being most out of my comfort zone but that resulted in one of the best times here, just such a privilege to be fed by those who have so little and to learn how to peel pumpkin leaves and crack peanuts to help prepare the meal, to entertain the children with my photos and just enjoy a day with friends despite the communication barrier.
innocence has been away most of the week sorting out his truck that is broken in nampula - an 11 hour bus journey away. so its been a week with the ladies at home, getting to know alexandra and hannah a lot better.
i am starting to smell more mozambiquan, which may not be such a good thing! i am changing shape a little, and my skin is getting more used to the sun, and otherwise my body is still loving it here. the food presents me with daily delights like coconut rice, butter beans, guava, we even made pancakes the other morning. i tasted cashew nut fruit on thursday which i didn't even know existed - a strange taste but pretty good. i really do like the diet here, although what i'm experiencing is no doubt the luxury end of it, but its so nice having a lot less sugar and fat.
i am still struck daily with the differences - washing under stars, rain or scorching sun; cooking that takes 3 hours for one meal; the many greetings in portuguese or amusing english wherever i go; the generosity of some bread or a fizzy drink whenever i enter someone's home; endless fly swatting; nightime noises of insects, dogs, radios, and laughter; the money that comes in nothing smaller than 500 so i'm always a millionaire; the rain that suddenly comes in torrents and disappears again in no time leaving slippery mud everywhere...
it would be fair to say that i am a very happy and content Hannah
the pace of life here suits me fine, i'm really not doing all that much day to day just sleeping, cooking, eating, shopping, visiting, playing with Hannah, chatting with Alexandra, bit of reading.. the visiting is often funny. yesterday in particular i went to visit a pastor i know well and then another friend, both of them don't speak english and i barely speak any portuguese so it was a day of communicating with a dictionary and gestures! i guess it was also a day of being most out of my comfort zone but that resulted in one of the best times here, just such a privilege to be fed by those who have so little and to learn how to peel pumpkin leaves and crack peanuts to help prepare the meal, to entertain the children with my photos and just enjoy a day with friends despite the communication barrier.
innocence has been away most of the week sorting out his truck that is broken in nampula - an 11 hour bus journey away. so its been a week with the ladies at home, getting to know alexandra and hannah a lot better.
i am starting to smell more mozambiquan, which may not be such a good thing! i am changing shape a little, and my skin is getting more used to the sun, and otherwise my body is still loving it here. the food presents me with daily delights like coconut rice, butter beans, guava, we even made pancakes the other morning. i tasted cashew nut fruit on thursday which i didn't even know existed - a strange taste but pretty good. i really do like the diet here, although what i'm experiencing is no doubt the luxury end of it, but its so nice having a lot less sugar and fat.
i am still struck daily with the differences - washing under stars, rain or scorching sun; cooking that takes 3 hours for one meal; the many greetings in portuguese or amusing english wherever i go; the generosity of some bread or a fizzy drink whenever i enter someone's home; endless fly swatting; nightime noises of insects, dogs, radios, and laughter; the money that comes in nothing smaller than 500 so i'm always a millionaire; the rain that suddenly comes in torrents and disappears again in no time leaving slippery mud everywhere...
it would be fair to say that i am a very happy and content Hannah
Monday, March 13, 2006
mozambiquan miracles
beautiful skies that change so fast
amusing bathroom adventures
impossible bicycle loads taken so far
smiling teeth in beautiful rich skin
luscious green and dusty brown scenery
shy kindness and cheeky greetings from strangers
hot itchy sweaty body from dawn to dusk
rags and rubbish treasured by the poor
very grateful for the occasional breeze
time lasting longer, no efficiency to be seen
people always busy but never hurried
inequalities stare at me every hour
no response seems adequate or appropriate
humility and generosity abound
along with death, hunger and the struggle to live
malaria and aids a regular feature
but still beauty everywhere
my heart is so full of love for the people and the place
amusing bathroom adventures
impossible bicycle loads taken so far
smiling teeth in beautiful rich skin
luscious green and dusty brown scenery
shy kindness and cheeky greetings from strangers
hot itchy sweaty body from dawn to dusk
rags and rubbish treasured by the poor
very grateful for the occasional breeze
time lasting longer, no efficiency to be seen
people always busy but never hurried
inequalities stare at me every hour
no response seems adequate or appropriate
humility and generosity abound
along with death, hunger and the struggle to live
malaria and aids a regular feature
but still beauty everywhere
my heart is so full of love for the people and the place
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
sunburnt again
so i am in mocuba, mozambique again! fourth visit and probably the best journey here that i've ever had. it was quite fun making my way here alone, coach overnight from pretoria then plane from maputo to quelimane then 'chapa' = very old, dangerous minibus crammed with as many people as possible to mocuba, then walk to the one friend i knew where she lived (bernadette - an english-speaking south african) for a fantastic welcome considering she had no idea i was coming and it was dark! i thought the taxi in maputo held together by brown tape was funny, but the chapa was definitely my favourite part of the journey just watching the land pass by all green and lush after the rainy season, and the dusty road and beautiful people. i had a helpful guy sitting next to me who spoke a fair bit of english so that was great. only slight snag was the windscreen that was cracked and fixed with superglue that then developed new cracks on our journey as we bumped over potholes! still i got here fine so that is a result.
my first night with bernadette seemed too easy as she has such a lovely setup and made me feel so welcome, it was just a complete joy to be back in mozambqiue again. then last night i finally managed to meet up with innocence who i've actually really come to visit and am now staying with him and his family. i guess it would be fair to say that is slightly more of a shock to my system, but i think i will be fine. they are certainly looking after me very well. i just mustn't think too much about where i was just one week ago as the differences between here and home are just too great for my mind and body to take in.
i am pretty exhausted from sleepless nights and the heat that has caught me by surprise. it will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me but i have managed to get ridiculous sunburn on my arms already - my hands look like they have some major skin disease! in fairness its not just my fault this time, i'm taking malaria tablets that reduce your skins ability to produce melanin so sunburn was always likely to be a problem. still apart from that i am fine, mostly really full of joy to see old friends and happy to be back in a country that has such a place in my heart.
i am not sure i will stay as long as i had first thought though as i have the offer of a life back to johannesburg on the 20th march so we'll see, but if i feel i have seen all the people i need to i may leave early and return to better comfort! its not just the lack of comfort that may encourage me out though, it just is so hard to respond to person after person who has such a sad story to tell of hunger because the last two years harvests have been so bad, of death from aids or malaria or countless other troubles. i have trouble reconciling the blessings in my life with the poverty of theirs.
sorry for the lack of pictures but i really don't think the technology here will stretch that far! missing you all a lot more than i expected. it is surprisingly difficult to be away from friends and family, when i think its only been a week. i dream about various people from my life back home every night which is a strange thing to wake up to. so every morning its an effort to put my head and heart back into mozambiquan gear and try and set aside the absence of loved ones.
well this is getting a bit too long and is a very mixed summary of where i'm at, but thanks for remembering me and i'll bring more news soon.
my first night with bernadette seemed too easy as she has such a lovely setup and made me feel so welcome, it was just a complete joy to be back in mozambqiue again. then last night i finally managed to meet up with innocence who i've actually really come to visit and am now staying with him and his family. i guess it would be fair to say that is slightly more of a shock to my system, but i think i will be fine. they are certainly looking after me very well. i just mustn't think too much about where i was just one week ago as the differences between here and home are just too great for my mind and body to take in.
i am pretty exhausted from sleepless nights and the heat that has caught me by surprise. it will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me but i have managed to get ridiculous sunburn on my arms already - my hands look like they have some major skin disease! in fairness its not just my fault this time, i'm taking malaria tablets that reduce your skins ability to produce melanin so sunburn was always likely to be a problem. still apart from that i am fine, mostly really full of joy to see old friends and happy to be back in a country that has such a place in my heart.
i am not sure i will stay as long as i had first thought though as i have the offer of a life back to johannesburg on the 20th march so we'll see, but if i feel i have seen all the people i need to i may leave early and return to better comfort! its not just the lack of comfort that may encourage me out though, it just is so hard to respond to person after person who has such a sad story to tell of hunger because the last two years harvests have been so bad, of death from aids or malaria or countless other troubles. i have trouble reconciling the blessings in my life with the poverty of theirs.
sorry for the lack of pictures but i really don't think the technology here will stretch that far! missing you all a lot more than i expected. it is surprisingly difficult to be away from friends and family, when i think its only been a week. i dream about various people from my life back home every night which is a strange thing to wake up to. so every morning its an effort to put my head and heart back into mozambiquan gear and try and set aside the absence of loved ones.
well this is getting a bit too long and is a very mixed summary of where i'm at, but thanks for remembering me and i'll bring more news soon.
Saturday, March 04, 2006
safe and sound
just a quick one to say i have made it to destination 1 fine. am a bit more culture shocked than i'd expected considering i'm in a major city so not even roughing it yet! but south africa is a very different place in many ways. am still pretty tired from not sleeping well on the plane and then getting up at the crack of dawn today for a farmers market! but all is well, lizanne and jannie are the perfect hosts and her son ruan (16 months) is a delight.
not much internet connection possibilities though and so this is just a brief one before i set off on my sketchily arranged journey to quelimane in mozambique on monday.
am settling into this life but miss you all lots and feel a little anxious at times. mostly just sorry it isn't easier to stay in touch at the moment, but hey, i'm not supposed to spend my year constantly in touch with home. well thinking of lots of you and will keep updating here as often as i can.
not much internet connection possibilities though and so this is just a brief one before i set off on my sketchily arranged journey to quelimane in mozambique on monday.
am settling into this life but miss you all lots and feel a little anxious at times. mostly just sorry it isn't easier to stay in touch at the moment, but hey, i'm not supposed to spend my year constantly in touch with home. well thinking of lots of you and will keep updating here as often as i can.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
bye for now
well this is me off then, can barely pick up the rucksack, not a good sign not at all pleased with my packing abilities on this one! i blame it on the pressies i'm taking so hopefully once out of mozambique things should get a lot lighter. had a fairly calm day. just enjoyed a top curry at the Mumtaj in st albans with my lovely dad. after pancakes last night and the last 2 months of my mum's top cooking i am definitely going well-fed. in fact the only trousers i'm taking to africa are a bit tight right now! can't say i'm going to miss the chill factor wind going on here at the moment, looking forward to the sun and all that vitamin d.
i hope it goes without saying that it has been very hard saying goodbye to so many people that i love so much, but in fairness it has been a lot easier than i expected. i am overwhelmed with the thoughtfulness people have shown and the fun times i've had with so many over the last 2 or 3 months. i guess the excitement of what lies ahead is really keeping me going so i don't feel too nervous or overly upset, just hoping i've remembered all the essentials and hope i can cope when i start missing people loads. got a fair few photos in an album with me and plenty of writing paper so i should be fine! its amazing how a lot of love and kind messages can carry you through.
best of all its the first day of lent now so i get to start on my two lent study books whilst on the plane! what with that and the films i am so excited about seeing i doubt i'll get enough sleep, but hey. well got to get going to heathrow really, so it really is goodbye now. hope to be back here with some good news soon.
love to you all
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