reflections

it was a quiet and beautiful new year for me in lovely hoi-an, where i had the chance to spend far too much money on amazing clothes and also take time to reflect on the last year.
some of my thoughts..

i feel like i have been led on an amazing dance of life this year full of more beauty than i thought possible and such a rich and rewarding time. i have come across endless treats and treasures and fantastic people. hope its not too strange to say but i feel more beautiful myself, partly thanks to seeing myself in a floorlength silk creation, but deeper than that, i am more comfortable with myself now i've had so much time alone and enjoyed it. maybe i feel more beautiful because i am smiling so much more as well!

abigail and isabella continue to feature high in my memories and i am sad that my time with them was temporary. their love is my greatest treasure of the year. i realise i would love to be a mother myself one day and be able to love a child continuously, not missing out on stages, but watching them develop and able to grow in my understanding of them, being able to meet their needs to a large extent. it was a precious gift to be a part of my nieces life even just for the short time and i guess i have to trust that next time we meet there will still be some foundations in place because of our time together last year.

i reckon i am more open to possibilities now, just still not sure which possibility to pursue next!plans for the new year need to include some dancing (maybe give up on trapeze as i'm now a year behind Mandi who was always ahead of me anyway) and more exercise - necessary if i'm going to be able to wear any of the clothes i've just had made! also i reckon something to do with colour/textiles.. not sure what exactly, maybe more for fun than employment.. any ideas welcome, bearing in mind i can't draw!

other than that i am starting to think about being back in the uk, already looking at a busy diary trying to see lots of you lovely people.. i wonder how i will be able to keep hold of my peace and joy, how to seek out whats important to me amidst so many more distractions, how to see the way ahead with so many more choices, how to move on from a year so full of memories...

well before that challenge, i am getting more and more excited about india which seems to me may well include my best and worst times... we'll see. it will certainly be a change to have a companion to travel with, i am SO excited about seeing Becs and her blog (http://beckycrow.blogspot.com/) is already getting me excited about the place. but its a bit more chill out in bangkok first to sort myself out and enjoy a bit more time with jim, should be good. has been so far!