open homes

just giving an advance invitation to pop by and say hello once i'm back if you fancy it. i realise i will be pretty tied up myself with various birthday celebrations for friends and matt and family visiting from sydney. so rather than rush about trying to fit in a visit to you all in the middle of all that, for the sake of my sanity i am putting the responsibility on you!
you are more than welcome to any of the following:

sunday march 4th at my parents place in st albans for 'afternoon tea!' anytime between 4-6pm
saturday march 10th at my place in brighton anytime from 6pm - i'll only have got back a day or two before so not planning to put on a spread, sorry, will just be a cup of tea on offer! but i'll be there which is the main thing right?
may at my place in brighton - i am promising myself a month at home which coincides with the excellent brighton festival which happens ever year throughout may. so if you fancy a visit or want to book up a meal or go to an event in the festival with me... this is your chance! anything from popping in for breakfast to coming for the weekend.. i am willing to be booked up for whatever! i hope this will be a month for catching up with you lovely people properly. for more info on events in the festival see http://www.brightonfestival.org/ and its not just me opening their home for the month - for festival open homes info see http://www.aoh.org.uk/

of course i hope to see some of you at other times too, but figure everyone's busy lives mean a bit of planning is sometimes good. anyway i need something to look forward to! so feel free to let me know by email of any plans. keep forgetting to say my mobile no isn't working in india, so its email or a welcome home card posted to brighton for now really!

lots of water

just uploaded some more photos for you onto flickr and noticed a water theme.. being by the sea and spending a night on a boat is whats done that. not a bad thing though - being by water seems to equal relaxation. above pictures pretty much sum up my life of late - reading, napping, watching the world go by, resting, bit of chatting...

i spent a few days with the gang - andy, kirsty and diana, which was a pretty chilled out affair. although for some reason i struggled a bit, thanks to the usual lack of sleep problem and i think just the logistics of group travel. its definitely a lot easier to get about alone in some ways - you and all your luggage fit into one rickshaw and you can make a quick decision, whereas the four of us did need some time to sort ourselves out occasionally. but i couldn't have experienced life on a houseboat without them, so i am very grateful. we lazed about for a day and a night enjoying a very slow world pass by. highly recommend it.

it was a bit of a wake up call to living and relating to more than one person at a time, and a reminder of much more of brighton life. i guess i'm not sure i was entirely ready for either, and looking back i'm hoping i have learnt something of how to relate to others and how to be back in 'brighton mode'. it probably sounds ridiculous, its not as though i have been a hermit all of this year living on the moon. but it has been a very different time, especially in terms of doing things my own way so freely. poor becs was the first guinea pig to test out my abilities to adapt back, and bless her, thanks to her being so constantly lovely, i think we would both call that time a huge success. but if the responsibility is on me to be lovely and accommodating and ready to adapt... well i am not sure success will come so quickly! it would be fair to say i miss becs.

but i am back on my own as of today, i've come to fort kochin a bit up the coast in kerala. so far so good, and as i start to plan the rest of my time, i realise i have plenty of time to spend in each remaining place i want to see, so i plan to take my time enjoying 'god's own country' as kerala likes to call itself. its definitely a different place down here. i know i travelled nearly the length of a subcontinent, so you might think i was expecting some differences being so far from rajasthan, but i have been surprised. there are no cows wandering around which is a bonus for ease of walking but sad loss of amusement. i've been bizarrely short on great food since arriving down south, but that may just be bad luck. the gang seem to have been on a 2 meals a day routine, thanks to possible theories of time difference and major increase in temperature reducing appetite.. but either way i was constantly feeling short of a decent meal! until we got on the boat that is, where a lovely cook sorted me out. anyway i am warming to this hot place and hoping it will be the perfect end to my year.

last little tip - if you're travelling, reading books by authors of that country is a must. i've been on an indian fiction run and am loving it. just so great to recognise details from what i've seen and to get more insights into this culture and place. some high quality authors. loving it.

responding to beauty

its been funny touring round beautiful buildings with becs as we have quite different ways of taking it all in. we chatted a bit about what the difference between us is, and becs pointed out that she is always very aware of the amazing craftmanship, which i hate to admit i'm normally pretty oblivious to. i guess i figure i am just not a buildings kind of a person and mostly get excited about the views out from a high up location, rather than the sights of the building itself. but even i would have to say the taj mahal really was beautiful. i tend to look for lovely shapes, especially lovely arches in india.. and there was plenty of that at the taj - amazing domes in particular. the experience was very different from, say our peaceful wander around bundi palace and fort, there was no chance for any peace and a lot of unwanted hassle from muppets wanting to take their photo with me - presumably to show off their western girlfriend?! but it was still a fun day, even if i did feel more like a tourist than ever before.

i sometimes feel like i am getting too full up with beauty, that my eyes are struggling to take much more in, that i can only allow myself a light scan of my surroundings these days as i am so full up with amazing sights already. of course it doesn't work like that really, i continue to be amazed by colour here and always give that a proper look.. but i do think its ridiculous for one person to have seen as much as i have in one year when so many would not see even a fraction in a lifetime. i just hope i can treasure these sights for a long time to come and continue to spot beauty wherever i am now that i have been given proof of just how much there is in this world.

responding to cows

i wish i could better capture on camera how it is to spend my days with cows everywhere. despite the novelty value wearing off, it still amuses me no end and i often have to stop and stare at a particularly good specimen of a beast. on the whole it is a pain to constantly give them a wide berth when walking in narrow streets and keep eyes on the floor to sidestep poo. sometimes it gets close to being a more literal pain - i did manage to do something wrong in pushkar and ended up with a cow trying to butt me with its horns. luckily it only had a couple of steps run-up space and i fitted between the horns pretty nicely so no harm done. and in fairness i have never seen any such agression shown to anyone else, so must just have been something personal. but it is a bit unnerving to live so close to what are often pretty hefty animals looking distinctly like bulls, even if they are sometimes female. either way, i keep my distance these days.

responding to poverty

its like you keep your guard up the whole time, closing your heart and mind off from looking deeper at the situation in front of you, putting a barrier between you and all the touts, leery men, constant unwanted greetings and pestering kids.

then once in a while something causes your guard to slip - you get to know a shopkeeper or waiter a bit better, you're watching an old person hobble along the street, you look right into the eyes of a beggar pleading with you... and then an overwhelming compassion fills you and then you're stuck. whatever response you manage will never be enough to recognise the huge disparity of your experience of life compared with theirs. whatever small kindness you may then try to express, you will not have the resources the show the same compassion to the many other similarly needy people who will cross your path that same day.

its not even just a matter of limited resources, financial and emotional, its that i cannot bear to live with that weight of compassion in my heart for more than a brief moment. i cannot bear to truly open my eyes. consequently my response to poverty here has been pretty pitiful and for the first time i don't feel quite right being a tourist in a country.